Sunday, February 08, 2004

"Excuse me, sir" doesn't quite cut it.

watch short video (w/sound) of NYC pedestrians in action

Anyone who has spent any time on the streets of Manhattan knows that cab drivers are exemplars of composed sanity compared to rush hour pedestrians. The pace on the sidewalks of NYC gets my heart pounding and my adrenaline rushing: even when I have no destination, no time constraints, and no objective, I find myself plodding forward at perilous speeds, rushing across streets against the light, and shoving people out of my way left and right. It's like some sick game you can only win when you let nothing stand in your way.

Don't be fooled by those who tell you there are no rules: the best way to spot a tourist (save for dead giveaways like XXL "I [heart] NY" or "Les Miserables" t-shirts) is to observe someone who is completely unaware that he is standing in the middle of an intricate game. Like a man playing chess on a basketball court, this unassuming tourist will be pushed aside so many times he'd be lucky to traverse a block in ten minutes time.

In 1984, performance artist and prankster Joey Skaggs decided he'd had quite enough of out-of-towners and oblivious locals who weren't playing by the unspoken rules of the sidewalk. He hit the streets with a small army of pedestrian etiquette enforcers who had "WALK RIGHT!" emblazoned in white lettering across their all-black uniforms. The WALK RIGHT! crew patrolled the streets with a petition stipulating sixty-six unspoken rules that (they proposed) would be put into city law. The rules included:

Different types of lanes were to be established -- one way lanes, a passing lane, window shopping lanes, etc.. Pedestrians must choose one lane and stay in it. No changing directions except at designated areas. No stopping while walking except when in the shopping lane. No gesticulating while walking. No eating while walking. No short people with umbrellas unless held at minimum height of 5' 10".

While the whole thing was just a nutty prank, I think he had the right idea.

For those looking for more practical tips on navigating pedestrian traffic in New York, look no further than Making Time in Manhattan, which has a couple of tried-and-true ideas for keeping people out of your way on Manhattan sidewalks. With classics such as "The Ice Cream Cone," "The Golf Umbrella," and "The Excuse-me-have-you-found-Jesus," you're sure to find something here that works for you. All of the suggestions on the list don't quite adhere to basic pedestrian etiquette, but that's why they work so brilliantly. So try them out -- just not while you're sharing the sidewalk with me.

:: posted at 1:12 PM | link | | | email this post